WetLeather Motorcycle Rider Information

It's a fast-moving group, so traditions develop rapidly. Some appear to have no rhyme or reason, while others have a well-known derivation...

Clerical Titles

• Bill Johns is known as da Pope. The precise origin of this isn't clear, but has something to do with his founding of The Gather and association with the BIMC (Illuminati). Check out page 62 of the Pricipia Discordia
• Carl Paukstis was canonized "Saint Carl" at the 1996 Gather in Republic. The WetLadies Chocolate and Mischief Society made gracious gifts.
• Shannon Kelley was elected Cardinal in a special ceremony at Martin & Carol Golding's house during the Goat Roast, 2001. However, we generally refer to her as the "Finance Minister", for her masterful financial skills WRT The Gather, Pasta Veloce, and other WL events.
• Fryer Martin (Golding) got his appellation after the inaugural Fish Fry, when we all got to witness the wonders of his zillion-BTU outdoor propane cookers. This name was cemented at the second Gather when he used those cookers to produce begniet for breakfast.

Nicknames

• The Wizard — H Marc Lewis
  Owner of micapeak.com and provider of all services for WetLeather, he is known as for his web page proficiency.
• de Judge — Mike Johnson
  In the early days of WetLeather, nearly anything requiring judging on WetLeather, e.g. the cookoffs previously mentioned, were judged (at least in spirit) by Mike. First rule: Don't Hurt de Judge. Second rule: I can be bribed.
• Dr. WetLeather — Bjet
  In the tradition of The Usenet Oracle, he wakes up once in a while and provides us with insight into everyone's current psychological problems and musical recommendations.
• Truffle Boy — Mark Morrissey
  Provider of chocolate truffle treats for WetLadies.
• Jeopardy Boy — Tim Surdyk
  http://www.wetleather.com/pictures/jeopardy/
• Goat Boy — Kevin Burgess
  Nobody knows why. It is mpossible to imagine.

Acronyms

• EC — the Evil Californian
  If you're not from the Northwest, you may not know of the (sometimes) good-natured "hatred" of Claifornians expressed by residents. We have several subscribers in California, but only LeighAnn Hussey is the Evil Californian.
• MOAKS — Mother of All Knee Sliders
  Rebecca (some new last name now)
• CB1, CB2, CB3, CBQ — Cabana Boys.
  Dedicated to obsequious behavior toward WetLadies. Selected by secret ritual known only to WetLadies.
• TFMK — The Fabulous Ms. Keri
  Keri Grassl Broglio
• TLotE — The Lady of the Evening
  Ellen (Ln) Carrico, who is not "EC".

Events

• Kathryn's Lungs' Birthday is a celebration of the beginning of our beloved Kaffrun's new life as recipient of a double lung transplant in March of 2000. This event is immediately followed (on Sunday morning) by viewing motorcycle racing, live or taped.
• One of our favorite Traditions is the annual Louisiana Food Fest and Fish Fry at Chez Golding. 1997's event was documented pictorially by havoc23.

  Martin has creative "official" names for the frequent gatherings at his house, e.g. the BJM(IWT,WWY)LFF&FF [Bill Johns Memorial (I Was There, Where Was You) Louisiana Food Fest and Fish Fry]. This particular name also reflects the tradition that Bill Johns somehow nearly always seems to be unable to attend a gathering at Martin's, even after he's proposed it himself.
  The Fish Fry is held in late springtime, often April, and traditionally marks the beginning of the good riding season.

• The Goat Roast allows us to maintain membership in the PETA (People Eating Tasty Animals) society. This is traditionally a big early-summer event in June.
• The Gather (GPNDG) is the genesis of WetLeather and has its own wealth of lore.
• The annual Cookoff always has a "theme", involving preparation of good food from, um, creative lists of required ingredients. The FIRST Cookoff was officially the "WetLeather Caterers First Annual Going Out of Business Sale" [theme: lima beans, tofu and buttermilk, or some such]. The Cookoff is held the weekend before the weekend before Halloween, and traditionally marks the end of the good riding season for many.
• The Pasta Veloce dinner After the annual Moto International bike show in Seattle. This was originally held at the Cafe Veloce' but outgrew that venue's patience and service capability. It has migrated to the Jennings' home.

Festivity Levels

• Festivity Level One — Your guests are sitting around chatting, nibbling the party food, quaffing microbrew off the tap... They are admiring each other's bikes in the garage and/or out in front of the house. Standing around the dining area debating operating systems/web techniques. Recipes are swapped in the kitchen area... Greetings for arriving travelers from afar...
• Festivity Level Two — Your guests are talking loudly & occasionally even to one another. Sipping port and smoking cigars. They are wolfing down the food, gulping their drinks, rearranging the bikes, rumaging through various piles of spares, etc. Some are having to give up their keys... til morning... Late arrivals are greeted with a "How the Hell are yah!" Someone is heard singing along with George Thoroughgood, "Bad to the Bone." Somebody stuck the Cremaster tape in the VCR... Some who brought small children are leaving... some aren't...
• Festivity Level Three — Your guests are holding conversations with inanimate objects, Two are debating which type of potato works better for the potato gun, gulping down shoooters/various tastes from the liquor supply, wolfing down hush puppys and dancing around the back yard shouting the words to "I'm a Denizen.... " Various bikes out front, burnouts, or just laying waste to a rear tire. [At this point a motorcycle and sidecar, painted in various arcane symbols, roars up to make its appearance, blaring "Born to be Wild" over its sound system, and various people are cajoled to taking monkeys for rides...
• Festivity Level Four — something Oh Dark AM... — Your guests, food smeared across their naked bodies, are capering around the hot tub at something AM, in some unholy ritual. The poodles have lured the great dane and Doberman into the bedroom... somebody notes a car that drives up to the neighbor's who rides a Harley, Blonde with notches on her c&fm-4" pumps and leather micro skirt w/legs to <HERE>, knocks on nieghbors door...
• Festivity Level 5
  Police: "We've come in response to the complaints."
  Martin: "Complaints? It isn't about the drugs, is it?"
  Police: "No, sir, not drugs."
  Martin: "The guns, then? They're complaining about the guns?"
  Police: "No, sir. It's about the noise."
  Martin: "Oh, that's all right then. 'Cause there sure aren't any guns or drugs here, heh heh."
  [An explosion sounds somewhere behind you]
  Martin: "Or fireworks either! The neighbors complained, did they?"
  Police: "No, sir. The neighbors all fled inland hours ago. The recent complaints have come from Kansas."
  At this point, a motorcycle w/sidecar roars out of one of the spare bedrooms, blaring some "Show tune" over its sound ystem, down the hall past you and the nice officer, out into the front yard and into the nearest tree. Two naked bodies tumble off, moaning.]
  Martin: "There, you see? It's winding down already."
  
• Festivity Level 7AM... early riser notes the neighbor's visitor leaving...
• Festivity Level Eight AM — Your guests, milling aroud the kitchen, waiting for pancakes, in the morning, are streaked by a g-string clad Havoc, "Hi, I'm Ian your waiter... care for some cream in your coffee? and the poodles nervously back away towards the bedroom...

Misc. uncategorized traditions

• Before a gathering, Carl always offers to swap T-shirts with Naughty Nancy Martin at that gathering. But somehow this never seemed to come up when people actually gathered. To understand the humor of this, you should know that Carl's about 300lbs without his boots, and Nancy might break 100lbs soaking wet. There are rumors that the 10th annual GPNDG in 2001 saw some new developments to this tradition, but all parties deny any photographic evidence.
• If you ever drop by Ducati Seattle, make sure to see Dave Roosevelt and practice the WetLeather tradition of Pinching Dave's Butt
• Garage signing. When you get a new garage, you are obliged to host a grage-signing party.
• A substantial contingent of us love micro-brewed (and home-brewed) beer , and/or Single Malt Scotch Whisky.
• A former subscriber (still with us in spirit), Dave Wise, is widely jeered for being obsessed with his hair. He is frequently seen combing it, and always washes it every morning at campouts. Some folks take great delight in messing up Dave's hair [133K GIF; L to R: H Marc Lewis, Dave Wise, Martin Golding]
• Some of our subscribers are serious about motorcycle road-racing. Team WetLeather provides a tiny bit of organization...
• A common newbie mistake is to reply to a message from WetLeather, thinking that the reply goes directly to the original message's author, when in fact it goes (by default) to the entire mailing list. This sometimes results in amusing reading for the readership at large and profound embarrassment for the newbie when personal conversation gets thus broadcast. Carl advocates pointing this mistake out early and loudly, in as broad an overreaction as possible by using the phrase "I see London, I see France, I see [newbie]'s underpants!". After this happened several times in quick succession to Lisa Gooding, we became very familiar with Lisa's unmentionables.
• Comments about engineering of high performance engines by swapping spark plug leads to make an inline four behave like a 2 cycle big-bang engine are always appropriate.