WetLeather Motorcycle Rider Information

Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide that she'll become a hooker. She's not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, "Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him that you charge a hundred bucks. If you have a   question, I'll be parked around the corner."

She's standing there for 5 minutes when a guy pulls up and asks, "How much?"

She says, "A hundred dollars."

He says, "All I got is thirty". She says, "Hold on," and runs back to Harry and asks, "What can he get for thirty?"

9/12/2006 - Dateline Detroit

The Saturn division of General Motors (GM) has announced a new specialty" vehicle, produced for the US State Department in response to RFQ-17-12574-06 for use at all US embassies worldwide. The stated
purpose is to "reduce the environmental damage done by the constant burning of traditional steel-bodied automobiles, and subsequent disposal problems." The division is using plastic body panel molding and stamping equipment formerly used in all Saturn models to produce a "98% flammable" automobile for embassy staff.

In this new model, which looks stylistically like later model Checker Marathons in profile, and Russian ZIP limousines from front isometric views, is intended to be almost completely consumed by fire under normal
embassy use, which constantly exposes their vehicles to ICED and fire-bombing attacks. The engine is a modification of the original Chevrolet "Blue Flame-6", and will run on ethanol or low-grade unleaded
gas. The entire steel body has been replaced by SMC body panels, reinforced with Kevlar modified for complete burning at relatively low temperatures, while producing very little smoke and CO2 emissions (Kyoto protocol compliant). All engine components except combustion chamber surfaces, engine cranks, and gear teeth rings have been replaced by various molded carbon fiber and Kevlar reinforced plastics. Windows glass is replaced by either polycarbonate (bulletproof) or Plexiglas sandwich "quiet glass" to reduce the noise of intrusive gunfire and minimize personnel injury, while remaining fully combustible; doors are reinforced with Kevlar armor inside the unpainted plastic body "skins", molded exclusively in a camouflage color called "Desert Sand Metallic". A non-flammable stainless-steel "basket" structure constitutes the "trunk pan", which is sized to hold all the non-combustible parts formerly comprising the car, with convenient two-man carrying handles designed into each end. The remaining white ash can be easily swept aside, or will dissolve into water as a low-phosphate detergent after a hard rain, for complete self-disposal, leaving the burn site "Tide clean".

When the car is fire-bombed in normal embassy use, the car will burn down to the ground, except for fewer than 80 metallic pieces, less than 100 lbs, all of which will fit into the "trunk pan" carryall, so that inexpensive foreign embassy maintenance staff can scavenge the remains of the car without having to deploy a traditional wrecker vehicle, after which the trunk pan can be reused as a laundry basket, or as a remanufacturing "return carrier" for the metallic parts, which can be recycled into a replacement vehicle; ($275 "core" value for the complete return of the metallic kit, to encourage recycling). The vehicle is said to weigh less than 2400 lbs due to its mostly plastic construction, making replacement by emergency air transport feasible. Worldwide distribution is to be handled by a modest dealer network to be known as Penske-Halliburton, LLC, which will also make the new vehicles available in a slightly modified right-hand drive version for sale to the British government.

The State Department plans to deploy the new vehicles immediately, to resolve the problems of "unsightly burned-out vehicles surrounding all our embassies."

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says the man.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

A crusty old biker walks into a bank and says to the woman at the teller indow, "I want to open a damn checking account." The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?" "Listen up, damn it. I said I want to open a damn checking account now!" says the biker. "I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this bank," the teller informs him.

She then leaves the window and goes over to the bank manager to inform her of the situation. The manager agrees that the teller does not have to listen to foul language. They both return to the window and the manager asks the old biker, "Sir, what seems to be the problem here?"

Dear Abby, A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think they could be Lebanese?

Dear Abby, I am a twenty-three year old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.

Dear Abby, I've suspected that my husband has been fooling around, and when confronted with the evidence, he denied everything and said it would never happen again.

Dear Abby, Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?

Dear Abby, I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now how do I get out?

Dear Abby, My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50.00 an hour every week for two and a half years. He must be crazy.

Dear Abby, I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home sober.

Dear Abby, My mother is mean and short tempered. I think she is going through mental pause.

Dear Abby, You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex and he is a doctor. Now what do I do?

Dear Abby, What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity, Foul Language and Violence On My VCR?

Dear Abby, I have a man I can't trust. He cheats so much, I'm not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his.