First and foremost, let me say that in no way
is the intent of this little story to belittle the
the Naval Aviator; some of the bravest people
on the face of this earth. Kay?

When it was all said and done, it was I who paid the
price. My fellow Arresting Gear Crew Mates would
much rather have gone for a tray full of mystery
meat, rather than waiting for the bolters and tanker.
(bolter: an aircraft that fails to engage the arresting gear.
tanker: miss more than two times and you need to find
a gas station)

Non-WL

"Famous Intellectual Pursuits" - D. Quayle
"Dogs And Little Children I Have Cherished" - W.C. Fields
"Dieting Secrets" by Rosie O'Donnell
"Your Guide To Family Life" by Michael Jackson
"Honesty In Government" by Mayor Richard M. Daley
"The Book Of Speechifyin'" by George Dubya Bush
"Advanced Driving Skills" by Senator Ted Kennedy
"The Diebold Guide To Corporate Security" (bit of an insider joke, basically they leak data like a rusty old Shovelhead leaks oil)

Oh Lord, won't you buy me, a 9-5-5-i?
My friends all ride sportbikes, and ask why don't I?
The chicks all laugh at me, won't go for a ride,
So Lord, won't you buy me, a 9-5-5-i.

Oh Lord, won't you buy me, a nine ninety-six?
My Gixxer won't cut it, with WetLeather chicks.
I love them Ducatis, but I sure ain't rich,
So Lord, won't you buy me, a nine ninety-six.

Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide that she'll become a hooker. She's not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, "Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him that you charge a hundred bucks. If you have a   question, I'll be parked around the corner."

She's standing there for 5 minutes when a guy pulls up and asks, "How much?"

She says, "A hundred dollars."

He says, "All I got is thirty". She says, "Hold on," and runs back to Harry and asks, "What can he get for thirty?"

Dear Dr. Wetleather;
I want to buy several more bikes but am on a limited budget. What do you suggest? — Ed